Some of us would rather have a tooth pulled than present at a meeting, but sharing our expertise does not have to be so daunting. This video shares four key steps to help you be a more confident and engaging presenter.

In his recent confrontation with reporters, Cain came across as angry, defensive and argumentative. He actually yelled at reporters when they questioned harassment allegations. If he becomes President, will he yell at the media when they ask questions he doesn’t want to answer or he doesn’t agree with? He also looked down, instead of at the reporter. His lips tightened, making him look angry and clearly annoyed. And, instead of approachable, open body language, he pushed his hands outward which is aggressive body language and signals hostility and unfriendliness.

But body language is only part of the problem. Cain has escalated the media circus by changing his story, waffling on questions and failing to prepare. He said he didn’t remember? He said a lot of things have happened over the years and it wasn’t until he thought about it later that he started to recall. Seriously? Did he really think that allegations of inappropriate behavior and a reported payoff by the National Restaurant Association to a woman who complained that he acted inappropriately toward her would simply go away and never surface again? As a media trainer, I always tell people to make two lists. List one contains all the questions you expect. List two includes the questions you hope are never asked and that’s the list you better have answers for. Then, there is his choice of words. He’s aware of a financial agreement, but not a settlement? So here is what he must do:

a.       Determine his message and stick to it. If he had stayed on message from the start and looked people in the eye when he answered questions, he would have fared far better and come across as more believable, committed to what he was saying and sure of himself. Instead he is coming across as insincere, argumentative and contradictory, which threaten his credibility.

b.       Answer questions and put a lid on his agitated flip responses. When a reporter asked him if he was guilty of harassment, he did not answer right away and then, instead of answering, he spit the question right back at the reporter. This is almost like saying no comment and suggests that he may have something to hide.

c.      Do it quickly as he’s already lost too much time and as a result the story is being told by everyone except Cain.

Finally, the Cain train needs to learn from this harsh dose of reality so they don’t make the same mistakes again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZgPRr0GMOA

Against my better judgment, I couldn’t resist the urge to engage. Taking a page from my own book, I carefully avoided negative words and personal attacks. I kept it short and said I felt no need to “defend” because having a different opinion is my right and that I respected her opinion even if I didn’t agree with it. I wrote “Let’s just leave this alone, we will never agree and we should agree to disagree rather than engage in personal attacks. Case closed. Not.

Moments ago, an even longer nastier email calling me “condescending”, “uninformed” “misguided” and not caring about the truth was staring me in the face.  I had a clear choice: cease or continue. Believe me, I wanted to continue, but I chose cease. It has nothing to do with her husband client who I’ve probably already lost. But (page 181), it’s important to understand that this isn’t all that different from a business meeting where an attacker will continually disagree with your point of view just for the sake of being difficult, showing off to the boss or proving you wrong. Attackers love to argue your point of view and make it personal if they think they can provoke you. That’s why when communicating in business, it’s critical not to address differences with emotions.

I am big on humanizing information so listeners can relate emotionally in order to connect to what you’re saying, but in some cases, it’s more important to consider the bigger picture which is the final outcome. Your communication choice to engage in personalities goes beyond the two differing parties. It can turn into a whisper down the lane at work; affect your reputation and possible advancement. Sometimes it is simply better to shut up and say nothing. In my case, I betrayed my gut. I knew even an initial response saying I didn’t want to engage was indeed a way of engaging and I knew she’d welcome a chance to push my buttons. In this case, my buttons popped, but it was a conscious choice and I am content without whatever the outcome may be.